death – a reflection/prose

breath. so simple, but so intense.

how quickly it goes away, and how quickly it comes back again.

you know that i loved you; i loved you enough to not let you go.

 

but now it doesn’t matter, ’cause someone’s gotta go. and that someone was you.

i carry myself as if nothing happened. so people don’t start to worry about me.

i miss the me when you were here.

i miss the us.

 

i remember the times we laughed, the times we cried, but most of all, the times we both loved each others company.

no matter what happened to me, you always found a way to cheer me up.

we were never meant to say goodbye.

 

she worries about me, but i tell her not to. i don’t want to make her upset as well. so i give the news to someone else, to pass on to her.

’cause it would kill me, even more, to see her unhappy for me.

 

she talks to me, but i hear nothing. the voice of you still rings in my mind. i can’t get over it.

they tell me to pray, to get over it. but i can’t. i won’t.

 

i bring you flowers, ya know. every day i replace the old ones with the new. i tell you what’s happened that day and what i’m doing tomorrow.

 

i lay in bed at night thinking of you. was it love? i’ll never tell. at least, never tell her. it would make it worse.

i miss you every day. i think that if i shut people out i’ll deal with it myself.

but i could never shut her out. she makes me smile and laugh. but not like you did.

 

maybe if i try really hard, i’ll see you soon. i’ll see you soon, my dear. sooner than you think.

 

life often asks death why people dislike death but love life so much. death always says, “because life is a beautiful lie and I’m a heartbreaking truth.”

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growing up – a reflection

Growing up is sometimes hard for me to embrace. Not knowing what exactly the future holds makes me nervous. It’s hard to realize that every action you take might be a moment you’ll look back on and end up regretting. Everything you do now could drastically change your future.

On another note, I want to take a moment to thank everyone that has helped me learn and grow, the people that are assisting in making me the person I am. Thank you to my parents that are ever helping me grow closer to the Lord. Thank you to my brothers for always having my back. Thank you to my friends that are so so special to me and are always there for me. Thank you to the people who hate me and told me I’d be better off dead – you have made me realize I am actually worth it and there are people who love me.

Here are some verses I am thinking on and praying on as I get ready to celebrate my birthday. I hope they will encourage you as well. (:

“Impress these words of Mine on your hearts and souls, bind them as a sign on your hands, and let them be a symbol on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

Deuteronomy 11:18-19

How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping Your word.

Psalm 119:9

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.

Proverbs 31:30