what a


that you’ve made them

think it’s okay

that they notice

the curves

of her body

before they notice

the curve

of her smile.



i dance with the dead;
they sing their songs in my head.
and i have keys to places
you’ll only see in your dreams.

they stare me down and
i turn my eyes to you.
but you look away
and dont give me a second glance.

their whispers fill the room
and the fake laughter echoes in my ear.
i wait to hear anything from you,
but not even a breath escapes in my direction.

i can taste their lies –
they are bitter in my mouth.
your words would be sweet;
won’t you fill me up with them?

they can smell my fear
from a mile away.
all you would smell is my lilac perfume.
if only you would draw me close again.

they brush their shoulders against me
as if they dont even know im there.
but one touch from you
brings me to my senses.

we could dance with the dead,
and their songs could replay in our heads.
couldnt we share keys to our most secret places,
and it all be more than a dream?


they say that actions

speak louder than words.


but what about when

you do nothing

and you say nothing at all?


you said it would improve,

get better.

you would turn over a new leaf.


and then when you didnt,

you grew quiet.

retreated, and refused to say a thing.


your absence of change,

it is



and your silence,

it is


growing up – a reflection

Growing up is sometimes hard for me to embrace. Not knowing what exactly the future holds makes me nervous. It’s hard to realize that every action you take might be a moment you’ll look back on and end up regretting. Everything you do now could drastically change your future.

On another note, I want to take a moment to thank everyone that has helped me learn and grow, the people that are assisting in making me the person I am. Thank you to my parents that are ever helping me grow closer to the Lord. Thank you to my brothers for always having my back. Thank you to my friends that are so so special to me and are always there for me. Thank you to the people who hate me and told me I’d be better off dead – you have made me realize I am actually worth it and there are people who love me.

Here are some verses I am thinking on and praying on as I get ready to celebrate my birthday. I hope they will encourage you as well. (:

“Impress these words of Mine on your hearts and souls, bind them as a sign on your hands, and let them be a symbol on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

Deuteronomy 11:18-19

How can a young man keep his way pure? By keeping Your word.

Psalm 119:9

Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.

Proverbs 31:30